New Light January: Asking for Help

This year, we’d love for you to join us on our journey of changing the story of how we see ourselves, others, and the world around us.  As a young company, we experience the call to evolve on a daily basis, and when we change, the story we tell ourselves about ourselves has to change too.  Each month of 2020, we hope to offer a reframe on something we’ve noticed is in need of new light in our community.  


With a new decade ahead of us, we’ve been focusing on really taking the time to assess how we want to move forward, into 2020, and beyond.

As a team, we understand that one of the keys to personal growth is identifying the areas we struggle in, coming to a place of acceptance with those areas, and then being patient with ourselves as we explore new ways to give those areas attention.

One of the ways in which we find that so many people struggle, including ourselves, is with asking for help.

Whether it’s getting some assistance with a simple household chore or a full on mental health journey, so many of us feel that asking for help is showing weakness, failing, or perhaps more than anything, being a burden.

But that doesn’t have to be the story.

What if asking for help could be something that not only serves you, but also serves the person you’re asking? 

We’ve given this idea some thought and we’ve come up with several types of relationships in which asking for help could be be a total game changer for not just the asker, but also the ask-ee!

Have aging parents?

Along with all the other changes that come with getting older, perhaps one of the hardest adjustments to cope with is suddenly not being needed as much - especially for moms and dads.  Instead of thinking of asking your parents for help as a sign that you aren’t ‘adulting’, think of it as more of a signal to them that you still need them, you value their life experience, and that you enjoy having them around.

Have young children?

Yes, your little ones might have a more creative take on folding laundry than you do, and sure, their dishwashing skills might be more mess than clean up, but asking your kids for help is actually a really great way to build their self confidence.  Being asked to give mom or dad (or grandma, or grandpa) a helping hand lets a kid know that he or she is capable. It also shows them from an early age that helping others feels good, and that needing help is a part of life and nothing to be ashamed of.

Have a spouse?

Sure, you can do the dishes or wash the car by yourself - but doing it together might be more fun.  It doesn’t take two to run out and grab groceries, but isn’t it nice to walk to the store together and catch up on what’s been going on at work lately?  Life is busy these days. Not every couple has time for a date night every week. Sometimes offering to help your partner with a task turns into that bonding experience you’ve been missing.  Plus, who doesn’t love to feel valued by their significant other?

Have a friend or family member who is struggling with mental health?

This one might be the most important.  People who are struggling with depression can often feel like they are a burden to their friends and family, like no one wants to be around them, and often suffer from low self esteem, and in some cases, feel as if they are ‘worthless’.  Asking them for a hand with something you know they are good at, even if they’ve forgotten that they are, is a really great way to subtly remind them of how valuable they truly are. Keep in mind, that choosing the right ‘ask’ is key here, as they might not have a ton of energy.  You might even just ask for help making a decision, or for advice with how to deal with a relationship problem, or a parenting issue. Getting their take on a problem is a great way to show them how much you value their opinion, expertise, or knowledge in a given area.

Go ahead and give some of these ideas a shot, and pay attention to how it feels to receive help when you look at it as making someone else feel good, creating a bonding experience, or as setting a good example for someone.

Before you know it, your fear of asking for help will no longer be a roadblock to your success, your relationships will have grown stronger, and you’ll also feel less stressed, because hey - you’re finally getting the help you need!

Are these ideas not suitable for you?  Come up with some of your own!  Light your favorite candle and cozy up with a journal for a brainstorming session.  List your own ideas for practicing the art of asking for help and then choose one to try out this month.  

Sending you love & light,

xo Woodlot